Are they all yours?

The other night, we were in the grocery store, stocking up for the next week. I have vowed not to go anywhere with out Bryan with me because I am scared to death that my water will break and I will be stranded. We made it about 2 isles into the store and an older woman sizes up our crew... 2 shopping carts with toddlers in each of them and two older children, helping me choose the items and placing them in "their" carts. She says, "wow, are all of these children yours?". I nod my head and continue down the isle.

We get this often... even more when it is just one of us who braves taking all 4 of our children out of the house. I have often wanted to reply, "no, none of them are mine... I just like to pick up random children and keep them with me." Usually the people are commending us on how well-behaved the children are and how surprised they that all 4 children listen so well. Which I find a little strange because if your children do not behave when you take them out, why bring them out?

Now, since I am impossibly pregnant, the tone of the question has changed a bit. The tone has become almost negative and harsh. One (different) woman in the dairy isle even said to Bryan, "are all of these yours (as she counted them out loud, with her finger) what are you doing to this poor girl?" He nodded his head and continued following me. I just don't get it.

It always amuses me when people say these things to us in a negative way... and sometimes shake their head, as if we are doing something wrong. I would understand that reaction if this woman was standing behind me in the grocery line and I had my order divided up with my food stamps order and then my order filled with steak, lobster, brand name soda and cigarettes... but I didn't. Bryan and I work our asses off to provide for our family. Giving each of them what they NEED and a few things that they really want. We do not ask for government assistance because we feel like government assistance is not something to be abused... and it is abused by most who have it.

We are not stupid... yes, we do know what causes pregnancy. We have taken preventative measures (which have worked and not worked). I believe that each one of my children are this precious gift that has been given to me. Each of them have a purpose on this Earth... it is my job to care for them, guide them, support them and help them to become the best people they can possibly be.

Ah... while we are on those lines... it really annoys me when people say, "this is the last one, right?" posed as a statement more than a question. My mother-in-law is most guilty of doing this and to be honest it makes me want to have 5 more children. I am not a child. I am a damn good mother. If I wanted to go for my own reality show and have 23 children, I would do it... but right now, I am happy with the (almost) 5 that we have.

Who is to say in 2 years I will not want another child? Right now, I think that 5 is our magic number. I was going to have my tubes tied, but have now decided against it. Bryan said that he would take one for the team... but now I am not so sure. We will see what happens.

So, to summarize... yes, all 4 of these amazing children are mine. I am so very proud to be their momma and I work so hard every day to care for them they way that they deserve. Right now, 5 is enough for us but I am reserving the right to change my mind at a later date and if you don't like that, keep your opinion to yourself. Can you tell that my body is on hormone overload? ;-)

Here I Sit...

July 14th, 2011... Baby Luhrs #5 days away from arriving (I hope)... are we really ready for this?

Probably not... what? I am just being honest. Is there really any way that we could be prepared for this? The nesting has turned into an obsessive, manic sort of anxiety which is actually keeping me from sleeping at night. Not to mention the general anxiety that I am feeling. I have been assured that this is normal and could even just be hormonal (God, I pray that is true) but deep down I know that this is going to be my life for the next few months.

Keeping with the honesty, I am afraid of this next step in my life. Deep down, I know it is "right" but I am still somewhat sad at the impending "end" of this stage in my life. Bryan and I have decided that this is the last baby. If for no other reason that it is really not fair for us to continue to add to the family when we are already so stretched. It is not fair to us but more importantly, it is not fair to the kids.

The end of this pregnancy has been bittersweet for me. I really do want him here, in my arms, like right now... but I know that means that I will never feel another baby growing and moving inside of me. I have been reminding myself of that every day, multiple times a day when I am not able to get comfortable.

I think that was the biggest reason that I felt it was so important for me to have maternity pictures taken. I have always hidden from the camera, especially when pregnant. I really felt like I needed something to remind me of just how blessed I am at this moment in my life. I have 4 beautiful, funny and amazing children, who could ask for more? Me apparently because the fifth beautiful, funny and amazing child is about to arrive.

No, we don't have a name yet. We have options but I have learned my lesson in deciding on a name before the baby is actually here. We will be announcing his name when he arrives. This whole pregnancy has been one that I felt like I really wanted to celebrate. First was with the finding out the gender of the baby at the baby shower in April. I suppose that it will be the same kind of feeling once we decide on a name an announce it.

This is going to be interesting... I have the feeling that there will be a lot of blogs to come, at least for a while.